Hypothetical Questions
by Roxius
Summary: Chowder has a hypothetical question, but everyone takes it seriously. Random semicrack fic with some ChowderXPanini. Please R R!


Chowder: Hey, Mung Daal?

Mung Daal: What is it, Chowder? Can't you see I'm busy plotting Truffle's demise and the conquering of all fungi as you know it?

Chowder: Well...I know - HEY, WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE?

Mung Daal: What? What is it? Is it Shnitzel in that sexy cocktail dress I bought for him? IS IT? IS IT? WHAT IS IT, YOU DUMB PIECE OF FAT FUCK!

Chowder: Well...what would you say if you found out your girlfriend was making out with another girl?

Mung Daal: WHAT? Are you saying that Panini is cheating on you with another woman? OH, THE IRONY! THE SWEET, THERMOFROSTED IRONY OF DELICIOUS PANCAKES! OH GOD!

Chowder: Eh? What are you talking about? It's a hypothetical question!

Mung Daal: Chowder, normally in a TV show like this one, when someone asks a 'HYPOTHETICAL' question, they are actually talking about themselves but are too embarrassed and/or stupid to admit it! Understand?

Chowder: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Mung Daal: SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! DO YOU KNOW HOW PAINFULLY ANNOYING IT IS TO PUT UP WITH YOU EVERY SINGLE FUCKIN' DAY?

Chowder: Uh...Mung Daal, what about my hypothetical question?

Mung Daal: Oh! Oh right! Yes! I understand! Uh-huh! Okay! Here we go! I'm all set! Bring it on! Here's what you need to know! Oh yeah! Woo-hoo!

Chowder: You don't know how to answer my hypothetical question, do you?

Mung Daal: Well, I - You see, I can - When I'm walking up walls, I see your - ...No, Chowder, I don't know the answer. Go ask someone else, okay?

Chowder: OKAY-DOEGAY! See ya later, Mung!

Mung Daal: Little weirdo...

Schnitzel: OOOOOOOOOOO!

Mung Daal: JUST SHUT UP AND PUT ON THE GODDAMN COCKTAIL DRESS!

Schnitzel: Radda Radda Radda...

Mung Daal: Hey! Hey hey hey! Put that middle finger down! Come over here; you're getting a spanking!

* * *

Chowder: HI, GAZPACHO-SENSEI! BATO BATO BATO BATO! 

Gazpacho: Uh...hello, Chowder. W-What can I do for y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-"

Chowder: I WANT...ANSWERS!

Gazpacho - AIEEE! Don't hurt me! Please! I bruise easily! I'm like a turtle without a shell! A clam without its shell! A donut without its shell! OH GOD, PLEASE ANSWER THY PRAYERS!

Chowder: Uh, Gazpacho...I just wanna know what to do if you find out your girlfriend loves another girl!

Gazpacho: Eh? EH EH EH EH EH EH? You wanna know...WHAT? HO HO HO! You are simply to die for, Chowder! To die for! Good lord! Hoo hoo hoo..."

Chowder: What? W-Why are you laughing? This is a hypothetical question, I swear!

Gazpacho: Chowder, normally in a TV show like this one, when someone asks a 'HYPOTHETICAL' question, they are actually talking about themselves but are too embarrassed and/or stupid to admit it! Understand? So, you're basically saying Panini IS cheating on you with another girl!

Chowder: OMGWTFBBO - I MEAN 'BBQ'! WHY CAN'T ANYONE SEE THAT IT'S JUST A HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION! I'M A VERY CURIOUS CAT/RACOON THING! WHY WHY WHY WHY?

Gazpacho: Listen, if your girlfriend is cheating on you with another girl, you can either be really happy (SINCE LESBIAN SEX IS HAWT) or really sad (BOO-HOO EMONESS COMING ON THAT I'M SO PLAIN THAT ANOTHER WOMAN WOULD MAKE A BETTER LOVER THAN ME)! You got that?

Chowder: So...you're basically saying I'm gay?

Gazpacho: You're a good boy, Chowder...a good boy...

Chowder: HEY, ANSWER MY QUESTION, YOU DUMB FUCK!

Gazpacho: A good boy...a good good good boy...yeah...good boy...

Chowder: I'M OUTTA HERE! See ya, Gazzy...

Gazpacho: Yeah...good boy...a good boy...good boys taste good...uh-huh...

* * *

Chowder: TRUFFLES! TRUFFLES TRUFFLES TRUFFLES TRUFFLES! 

Truffles: WHAT IS IT, CHOWDER-CHAN?

Chowder: Hey...you sound like a man all of the sudden!

Truffles: JUST TELL MEEEEEE WHAT THE PROBLEMMMM ISSSS?

Chowder: Well, I wanted to know what to do if your girlfriend turns out to be cheating on you with another girl...hypothetically, I mean...

Truffles: ...you're asking the wrong person, kid.

Chowder: Hey, you sound like a disgusting, fat old hick again! Hurray!

Truffles: JUST GO ALREADY!

Chowder: Fine...fine...

* * *

Chowder: PANINI! PANINI PANINI PANINI PANINI PANINI! 

Panini: Hi, Chowder, my darling! How are you today? How are things?

Chowder: I've been having a horrible day, my sweet! I asked everyone what to do if your girlfriend is cheating on you with another girl, and it was a hypothetical question, but everyone thought I actually meant that you were a lesbian and that you were cheating on me!

Panini: Well I'm not! Seriously, Chowder, you shouldn't ask such stupid questions...you could get raped...

Chowder: Yeah...I learned that the hard way when Gazpacho followed me home...

Panini: Oh dear...

Chowder: Uh-hum...ANYWAY, LET'S GO EAT! I'M STARVING!

Panini - Alright, let me just get my Emergency Big Girl clothes!

Chowder: HAW HAW, YOU A FATTY!

Panini - STFU, CHOWDER! STFU!

Chowder: Yes, ma'am...


End file.
